Alright. Bad news. I guess I don’t have to explain it to you. Here are some of the drafts that were never published or finished: The Civilization Revolution review, Saving Ghost Recon (an open letter to Ubisoft), You Broke My Heart (Halo 3), Braid review, My world is dark and rainy and you’re useless in it, Proud to be a Gamer (part II), not to mention various hatemails and faux interviews. Here’s a collage of some of the pictures I was hoping to use. It’s been fun. So long!

Review: Warhammer 40K – Squad Command (DS)

I haven’t posted any reviews for a while, main reason being I haven’t played a lot of games either. I could write something about GTA IV or something like that, but you’ve all played it. So here’s a Warhammer 40K game for the DS instead, entitled Squad Command. First of all, critics have spent a lot of time whining and complaining about the fact that the “pre-rendered cutscenes” that graced the PSP version are strangely absent in the DS version. Shut the hell up.

Anyhow, there’s more than a slight UFO (that’s X-COM if you grew up State side) feel to this game: turn-based squad management, line of sight, action points. I could go on. Good things, indeed. But let me tell you of another thing, something that drives me absolutely insane:
the isometric view in 3D. Meaning, the game is presented in a isometric view of a fully 3D environment, which translates to the fact that the camera is fixed to the same spot, and you can’t rotate the camera, making walls and other scenery almost impenetrable to the human eye. Seems to me that it’s totally unnecessary to make a game in 3D if it doesn’t affect your perspective. Just to sum things up, this title is uninspired. Keep it simple next time.

2/5

Civ Rev demo out…

…on Live and PSN. I’ve tried it once, and I’m about to give it a shot later today as well. Tried it? Any thoughts? I’ll update soon.

Resolution mod for Black Isle games

The Widescreen Mod allows Black Isle titles like Planescape Torment,
the Baldur’s Gate series, Icewind Dale I and II to be played at previously unsupported resolutions, like those of widescreen monitors. Any resolution is supported, and fullscreen works if it’s supported by your graphic card, driver and screen.

The project is currently an open beta, get it here. (via RPS)

Gaming on the go (Mobile games roundup)

Ah, mobile games. The poor and diluted gather ’round, come closer, and I’ll tell you about that time I descended into the abysmal depths of horrible, watered-down versions of already bad games. I originally wanted to include a list of all the bad games I tried, but alas! – the list was too long. In fact, I rummaged through at least a hundred of them, and ended up with five games that I could actually recommend:

Orcs & Elves (and Doom RPG): Both by id Software, and I’ve played them for hours – at work, at home, in the bathroom… Everywhere.
I love turn-based dungeon crawls. The aforementioned is generic fantasy in the same vein as Eye of the Beholder (for those who remember), sans the confusion of static movement. Doom RPG is essentially the same game, only it’s set on Mars instead of in some Dwarven fortress (come on, you know the story). Half-Elf or Marine? You decide. Tetris: You can’t go wrong with this classic game. Not even on your phone, it seems. Prince of Persia – Sands of Time: Well-crafted and nice to look at, but short. It’s over in half an hour. However, the presentation and crisp animations make up for it. Plenty of traps, too. Might and Magic II: Consider this a fairly standard RPG in every respect, even though the graphics are nice. I’ve only spent a limited amount of time with it, but so far I’ve actually enjoyed myself. Has nothing to do with the strategy game of yore, so don’t get too excited.

There you go. Ah, don’t mention it. I have uploaded a small pack containing the five games mentioned above. Feel free to download it.

The Slime goes HD! (Technolust)

A recent victim of the technolust inhabiting the gaming commune,
I finally caved in and upgraded to Full-HD. Turns out there was something severly wrong with it, or as the kind people at Samsung called the phenomenon; Dead on Arrival. So, with the new TV out and the DS (containing the wonderful Professor Layton) resting in someone else’s palms rather than my own at the moment, I decided to go deep into the forsaken realm of mobile gaming. Truly desperate, indeed.
I’ll report back soon…

Always coming in last

Sorry for the downtime. I’ll update soon. And comment on the comments. Keep visiting. It makes me happy. xoxo

I’m so sorry!

Just worked the evening shift with a guy who grew up in the same backwater town as I did, and I suddenly (and very distinctly) remember borrowing The Legend of Zelda (NES, 1987) from him, back in the day. For those who don’t know, this game was one of the first games that featured an internal battery to facilitate data saving – which, it turns out, was the reason I had to go into hiding for a couple of years… By mistake I deleted his progress, his character, and all his effort put into this classic game. He had the blue ring and the white sword, I remember that much. The blue ring cuts received damage in half and turns Link’s outfit, well, blue. The white sword is more powerful than the wooden sword, but less powerful than the magic sword. Having acquired these items seemed like a big deal to me, so I just left the game at his house without saying anything and avoided him for the next couple of years. That was almost 20 years ago. Now we have once again crossed paths. He doesn’t seem to remember it, though. Maybe he moved on. Anyway, I’m sorry Daniel. Really.

On character creation (and avatars)

This post is nowhere near as academic or investigating as the title might suggest. Expectations lowered? Alright.

I’m getting pretty jaded with character design these days. For once,
I’d like to play a failed, unemployed guy in his mid-forties. Perhaps a heavyset man who tires quickly? In short, I want weaknesses and flaws – not muscle, beauty and competence. As I’ve understood it, Eternal Darkness (2003) lets you control an array of characters with no apparent skills nor good looks. I like that. It gives the characters a certain depth, unlike those soulless, muscle-flexing idiots you usually get to manoeuvre. Always so tough and able. I’m sick of it. Just give me a paraplegic in a wheelchair, or someone with racial issues and a drinking problem – a real bigot, a mediocre backpeddler. I’d like to take that journey, please.

On a more positive note, and as an example, the protagonist in upcoming Alan Wake features an author, who’s suffering from insomnia and writers block. Taking refuge in a backwater town, the monsters of his nightmares soon arrive to plague him. Which is believable and realistic in some aspects (not the monster part, right?). That title is perhaps where my hopes lie in 2008. Let’s hope it doesn’t slip into the fiery depths of 2009. The new Alone In the Dark will also feature one certain Edward Carnby, who’s supposedly not too handy with a gun. Ooh, I’m gonna enjoy dying over and over again! Also, Fahrenheit (Indigo Prophecy) tried a different route, and there’s always trusty old Gordon Freeman, the silent protagonist. I think things were better back when the avatars didn’t talk so much, as there was less attitude to put up with. Can you guys name a few other characters that felt inspirational and interesting instead of tired and shallow?

(Update: Rumours indicate that Alan Wake has indeed slipped into the fiery depths of 2009. Goddamn it.)

Professor Layton demo (Flash)

Everyone should head over to the Professor Layton website and try the game demo, which also includes some of the fine animated scenes from the game. Then, if you haven’t already, read my review of the game, further down on this page. Enjoy!

Confessions of a Spore whore

Chances are I would sell my body to get my hands on this game. That’s how bad I want to try it. Anyway, after gushing about Civ Rev (which also shares the curved world phenomenon, if you compare the screens), I thought I’d mention some other titles that are on my list for 2008, and Spore is certainly one of them. This game, if you somehow managed to avoid reading about it, lets you create a species and guide it from the origin of life through various stages of civilization and technology, all the way into the far reaches of outer space. To be more precise, your creation will start off in the Tidal Pool Phase as a tiny single celled organism and then progress as you continue to evolve, eventually crawling onto land. The last segment of the game is called the Space Phase, where you traverse the galaxy in flying saucers, visiting (attacking) other civilizations, exploring the solar system, perhaps with the intent to colonize and terraform, all in the name of galactic dominance.

Spore is due out this September. If you haven’t already, I urge you to take a look at the Eno/Wright seminar for more insight to the mechanics of the game, such as evolution and generative music. It’s also coming to the DS, but it will be watered down and sucky. Oh, and all my pictures have floating captions, in case you’ve missed it.

Review: Professor Layton & the Curious Village (DS)

Professor Layton and the Curious Village (the title is reason enough to import this, you hear) is all about puzzles. In fact, you’re constantly bombarded with them for each step you take in this point-and-click adventure, and there’s well over a hundred puzzles for you to solve, with more coming every week as downloadable content. Even though there’s not as much investigating as the title might imply, and even though you might recognize most mechanics of the puzzles presented (if only in that slight familiar way), you need not worry, as there’s plenty to go around before you’re done with this. Now take a look at the character art. Looks like a Studio Ghibli production, right? Damn right. Add some splendid music, wonderfully animated cutscenes and the occasional spoken dialogue, and this Level-5 release is exactly what your heart and soul needs. If not easily swayed by cuteness, you might need to brush up that intellect of yours. Simply adorable.
(Try the demo at the official website.)

4/5

Waiting for Sid Meier’s Revolution

I’m hoping that Sid Meier will deliver the goods come June, when Civilization Revolution drops. There has been lots of previews lately, and most importantly, a screenshot from the DS version. Now, as I’ve explained before, I’m a reformed PC strategy nerd. These days however, I want to play expansionist games in airports, in bed, or even in my bathroom. I also have the need of holding a cup of coffee in one hand, so there better not be any buttons to press whilst managing my troops. Granted, the DS version looks like Civ II or some mobile phone version, but that doesn’t matter. Age of Empires proved that the DS is a well suited platform for strategy gaming. Full circle. Anyone else with high hopes?

ROM Check Fail! (PC)

Feel like playing Asteroids and Gauntlet at the same time? Or perhaps Zelda mashed up with Super Mario? Well, today is your lucky day.
ROM Check Fail! is a competent (and demented) arcade mash-up and retrospective at the same time, forcing you to play at least two classics at the time, merged together and unified in awesome ways. Confusing for sure, but I’m pretty sure your nerdy brain will be able to handle it.

Download ROM Check Fail! by clicking here. (via Independent Gaming)

Darwinia+ confirmed for Live

Introversion has confirmed that Darwinia, along with multiplayer version Multiwinia, is coming to Xbox Live this Fall. Now, if you’re still unfamiliar with Darwinia, I suggest you download the demo (Windows, Mac, whatever) for an invigorating take on the RTS-formulae. Since Xbox Live is an cesspool of old mediocre games presented in slightly newer fabric (Track & Field aside), I’m sidling in with Joystiq, suggesting someone get to work on that DEFCON port already. It’s the most obvious thing ever, really.

Questionaut (Flash)

I don’t think there’s anyone out there who didn’t love Samorost. Now, Czech developer Amanita Design has put together a game of learning for the BBC, called Questionaut. It’s brilliant. Across eight stages, you answer questions on different subjects (like physics, mathematics and biology) in order to progress to the next level. Wonderful art, engaging puzzles, fantastic music. I really couldn’t recommend this enough.

Click here to play Questionaut (BBC link).

Slipping into Oblivion (Gaming and guilt)

I’m slipping into The Shivering Isles once again, and it scares the hell out of me. It’s that special place you don’t want to go, but you know you have to. I can have a thousand things to do one day, only to catch a glimpse of my console, and minutes later I trawl any given dungeon in search of some kind of meaning. At the time of writing, Oblivion has siphoned over 100 hours from my life, leaving me with at least two unfinished essays and countless of broken promises. Still, it lures me back to its continental sprawl of real-estate, caverns and angst.
The scale of this game is ever frightening, as it seems impenetrable even to the experienced explorer. In addition to the bewildering vastness, you’re constantly knee-deep in books and conversations covering everything from politics and religion to flora and fauna -
but you’ll learn how to ignore all that soon enough.

But I’m missing the point. I’m guessing you’re all very aware of what Oblivion is capable of. Which leads me to this: When did it become a chore to play games? Do you get the feeling that sitting down with your favourite RPG has become a serious undertaking, and often,
a guilt-inducing addiction? Do games demand too much effort these days, are they too expansive, or do you revel in gameplay ad infinitum? What game is responsible for your social ruin? Was it always like this? How am I supposed to manage my character and the real me at the same time? You know, go to work, have coffee with friends, finish off that essay and still have time to wander aimlessly through the realms of Dementia and Mania, which, I guess, isn’t too far from where I live anyway. Which reminds me, I really need to find Blackroot Lair…

Kriegspiel (Mac/PC)

In January 1977, the French Situationist Guy Debord founded the Society for Strategic and Historical Games. The Society had an immediate goal: to produce Kriegspiel, a game of war that Debord had already designed in his head years before. The game was played by two opposing players on a game board of 500 squares arranged in rows of 20 by 25 squares. Now, developer RSG has recently released a computer edition of Kriegspiel. This version is an attempt to translate Debord’s game to the contemporary landscape without interfering with the simplicity and depth of the original creation. Essentially a board game played top-down or in 3D mode, Kriegspiel is very impressive, not only visually. Unfortunately, there is currently no single-player mode, no computer opponent – which makes it online only. Enjoy!

Download it for Mac and PC here.

Eno and Wright on Generative Systems

This is really something. I watched some of it yesterday, and I recommend it to anyone with even the slightest interest in interactive media, games, or music. Brian Eno and Will Wright discuss games, music and everything in between at a seminar organised by The Long Now Foundation in June 2006. Click here to watch the video (1:38:40). Highly recommended! (via Rock, Paper, Shotgun)

Review: Brothers In Arms (DS)

This game has been awarded with high scores overall, and as the last person alive to ever review this game (I was always a late bloomer) and, apparently, one of the last sane reviewers around, I’ll try to explain why almost all before me are incorrect.

Brothers In Arms for the Nintendo DS starts out really nice. Graphics certainly impress, you can use cover, the Nazis scream at you in actual German, and the grenade-throwing is especially well implemented. Now, as you progress through early levels, you have high expectations of what’s ahead, but that sweet anticipation is soon muddled by a few too many problems. For starters, controls are unresponsive and imprecise, the cover system turns out to be sluggish and poorly executed, and the initial awe inspired by the graphics soon wears thin. Bugs and framerate issues appear so frequently that you begin to wonder if this game was such a good idea after all. To have a plane dip at me at 8 frames per second really doesn’t impress me that much, neither does breaking through a wall with a tank when there’s no sound to punctuate and accentuate the destruction you’re witnessing on screen. In such situations, the most apparent flaw of Brothers In Arms is becomes crystal clear: It’s so maxed out, so determined to bring the other consoles alarm and audiovisual overload to the DS, that it shoots itself in the foot while attempting to do so.

However, the vehicle driving sections deserves mentioning alone, since they are so amped up that it feels like going snowboarding on landscape-coloured snow, really messed up on drugs (any kind of substance where you gnash your teeth into small, sharp splinters), with a World War going on somewhere in the lift area. Oh yeah, and there are Nazis everywhere in the slopes, taking aim, but they can’t hit you, because you’re moving too fast. Good times, indeed.

2/5