Proud to be a gamer? (Part I)

Just this morning, Codemasters presented a new franchise entitled Damnation, with a couple of screens to accompany their announcement. Two questions immediately spring to mind: 1) When is this shit going to stop? 2) Are all character designers idiots? Yeah, adding tribal tattoos and a few extra belts will help me relate to your bland, generic female character, for sure. Come to think of it, it will probably help me relate to real-life women in general, because everyone loves sluts with huge lower-back tattoos who can’t even dress themselves properly. Jesus Christ. Dawson is not going to like this. Because as you all know, Dawson doesn’t care for boobs.

I recently wrote a post on character creation, which is due out soon, so I must admit that the timing for this announcement is striking. Still, it burdens me with shame. Proud to be a gamer in these days, anyone? And please, easy on the “u are gay” comments.

What would Dawson do?

I have been pondering this question lately, as I’ve been tinkering with the notion of introducing a new scoring table for the reviews I occasionally churn out. Coming to conclusion, I have decided to go with The Dawson System. Ranging from 1 to 5 in scale, Crying Dawson represents the lowest score available, continuing with Irritated Dawson, and on to Average Dawson. On the more positive side of the scale we have Intrigued Dawson and finally Happy Dawson, representing the highest score, which would be 5. As not to confuse anyone, I will put in the numbers as well. Any thoughts?

Introduction, resurrection

My name is David. I was born in July 1980, which is only a few days before yesterday according to my inconsistent memory. I like music, games, books, and Lindsay Lohan. I have no pets.

When I started the previous version of A Slime Appears about a year (or decade) ago I wanted it to be more personal and unforgiving than other sites out there doing the same thing. I had my moments, but the reason I decided to go into hibernation was simple: I didn’t keep it personal enough. And if I want to contribute something, it should be me reflecting on things, not rehashing things already said. I will obviously write less, but hopefully with a more personal perspective on things. I will continue to post as long as it serves a purpose for me, and as long as people continue to visit. I will also continue to mention flash and internet games if I happen to stumble across anything good, but I will not do so on a weekly basis.

I will rant about games in general the way I perceive them. This will function only as therapy for my game-obsessed mind. I used to love games as a kid, but at the verge of 28, I’m not so much in love anymore, just obsessed and sexually warped. Like that freak who’s got hundreds of pictures of some girl in class on his wall, but can’t say a word around her. Who fantasies about her constantly, talks out loud when he’s by himself, and calls her a whore occasionally. It’s more of that kind of relationship. So, um, I’m emotional about games, let’s leave it to that. Games are an never ending source of disappointment for me, but I can’t stop caring or playing. That’s what I’m trying to communicate. And I also do not like myself as a gamer. Mediocre, obnoxious and unforgiving. There, I said it.

I also write about music and break every existent copyright law over at Ljud. Feel free to browse around there, too. And remember, feedback is always appreciated!